The
Paul Solomon
Lecture Series

“Forgiveness”
From a lecture by Paul Solomon

. . . Forgiveness is often mistakenly built around the concept of self-righteousness, meaning that “I will condescend to forgive you for what you have done wrong to me.” It is an exercise in placing blame, making yourself right and someone else wrong. It has nothing to do with
forgiveness.

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is the act of giving up forever the claim to revenge, giving up forever the right to make someone wrong about a situation, whatever it is. If you forgive a person, you have given up the right to make them wrong, to place blame, to accuse, to be vengeful. 

Forgiveness is unconditional. If you say, “I’ll forgive you for that if you promise never to do it again,” that is not forgiveness. That is self-righteousness.

Forgiveness is not done for someone else, meaning that “I would forgive you, except that you don’t deserve it. You don’t even feel remorseful. You’ve shown no inclination to stop, so I won’t forgive you.”

Forgiveness does not mean doing another person a favor. Forgiveness means that you no longer hold that person responsible. You no longer recognize them as the same person who built this Akashic, karmic cord with you.

Forgiveness is not something that you do for the other person. Forgiveness is something that you do for yourself, in order to end an imbalance in a relationship in your life.

The quality of your relationships will define the quality of your existence. If you have relationships in which you need to forgive, and you are not doing so, the quality of your existence will remain poor. Your existence will be effected by unresolved, unbalanced relationships. When you forgive, you release. You release tension as you give up a need for revenge.

What do you get out of revenge? You get “back” at somebody. What makes revenge satisfying? Unsuccessfully trying to give worth back to yourself. You feel that a value has been taken away by the action of another, so you attempt to put that person down in order to bring yourself back up. It is a game. A person with self-worth does not play that game. Any desire in you for revenge suggests that you are not valuing yourself. 

Forgive others first. Then, forgive yourself. All you have to do to forgive yourself is notice the things for which you feel you need to be forgiven. At the end of each day, every day, go back over your day and recall when you released negative energies, emotions, images, feelings toward anyone or anything. Is there anything for which you want to feel cleaned? To be forgiven, all you have to do is name it.

Naming names is an important tool of occultists, mystics, spiritual warriors. Naming names means this: you cannot stop doing what you do not know you are doing. You cannot be forgiven for what you are not aware of having done. You cannot be forgiven for what you are not willing to admit you have done. And you cannot identify what you have done, or what you are presently doing, unless you can get a name for it.

The name itself is not important. You can call an energy grief, hurt, anger, jealousy, defiance, bitchiness -- anything you want to call it. The one requirement is that you be honest in naming it. If you are honest, and if you are willing to release yourself and others for any uncomfortable energy in your life, you can attain purity. If you can attain purity with high purpose, what you have then is courage.

Courage comes to anyone who feels good about self. When you feel good about yourself, when you feel loved, when you feel approved by your Source and you know that you have high purpose, the result is confidence. . . .

© Paul Solomon Foundation 1994