The
Paul Solomon
Lecture Series

"I Am Loved of God"
(Excerpt from "A Matter of Death and Life"
By Paul Solomon)

For everyone who is born into this earth, there is a memory, a feeling, a sense of something not quite remembered, in the back of our mind. It remains with us as we adjust to this plane, as we begin to conform to what society expects, as we work on our education and our career, as we work to acquire our house and car and things, as we try to earn a reputation and accomplish things that matter. Throughout our life, the memory continues to impress itself on our consciousness. "There is something I came to do. There is a reason that I’m here on earth. I feel incomplete. I’m not whole because there is some part of me that is missing. What could that part be, and how can I find it?"

Then, conscious self interjects, "Oh! I know what it is. I need to get married. I need to find my soul mate!"

Here is what you need to know about soul mates. It is true that you are only half of a being and you can never be complete until you join with your other half. You are one half of a whole. But the other half is not walking around in a body on this plane of matter. The other half of you is your source, your creator, the source of your being.

The emptiness that individuals try to fill by joining together with another human being on this plane would better be filled by realizing that, "The reason that I feel like half of a whole is because I’m separated from what I really am. I’m separated from my real nature. I’m separated from my cause. I’m only the result, and any result not joined to its cause is only half of a whole. Instead of looking for the completion and fulfillment of myself through joining in a love relationship with another human being, I will marry my Source. Only then, I will be whole."

In order to marry with your source, you must first set aside all the other lovers that stand in the way. That does not mean that you have to stop dating or break up with your present relationship. It means that you must set aside anything that keeps you from knowing and understanding your true identity, anything that competes with the primary relationship you maintain with your source within yourself.

When you meet the person that you ought to marry on this plane, knowing that your primary relationship is with your source, the source within you will leap for joy. You and your new partner will feel joined in one great work together, living one life together, with one purpose. Edgar Cayce referred to it as two souls standing side by side, looking in one direction. Together, you will become one, and the child of your relationship will be new life. Your physical children, should you decide to have any, will be blessed because they will be born out of your purpose. They will not witness fighting and arguing between the two of you. They will not learn that marriage is a series of emotional blackmail attempts to get the partner to act a certain way. You will teach your child harmony and wholeness. Your child will not hear you say, "God can provide for all your needs," at the same time that you are chewing your nails, saying, "How are we going to pay these bills?" Your child will not see fear and worry on your face while your words say the opposite. Your child will not learn that what adults do best is lie—say one thing and do another. Instead, the child will grow in an atmosphere of calm confidence, harmony, and love.

If you want to teach a child what matters in life, say, "Listen. Love the Source that gave you life, love yourself, be kind to everyone you meet, and enjoy life." Then, realize ahead of time that your child may not strive for what society believes is important. He will not always behave either. And other adults may judge you even more than the child by whether he behaves or not. Ask yourself whether you would prefer a well behaved child or a happy child. A perfectly behaved child may have trouble later in life—having done all the things that the adults said to do, having behaved as a nice little adult, restricted, confined, conforming, bound in a straight jacket of proprieties. Children who are somewhat rebellious and independent, joyous, happy, free-thinkers, are creative later in life. Perfectly behaved children will likely need a good therapist.

It really does not matter if you have a lot of money in this lifetime. It does not matter if you have a good reputation. It does not even matter if you succeed. It does matter that you are joyous and that you are capable of real love. When you are joyous and capable of giving love, you will have a valuable inheritance to pass on to the children of this world.

One of the paradoxes of life is that we cannot give love. We can only express love. Another person can share in our love if he is already full of self-love. Not self-centered, self-absorbed love, but genuine love and appreciation for self.

The expression of love is a personal decision. Even if your partnership is not working effectively, you can still be an effective positive influence on your children. Your partner may not be happy—and a person who is not happy is likely to be accusing, bitter, full of fear. But you have an option. If you have children, they can still see one person who is consistently joyous, who demonstrates that life is not threatening and scary, who expresses joy, even in the face of adversity, because he or she decided it. Your children can see someone who is joyous, regardless of money in the bank, promotions at work, relationships with other family members, a good or bad sex life, etc., etc., etc. The list of reasons to be unhappy is endless.

The choice is whether to be joyous or to be oppressed by life. You cannot teach a child to be what you do not express naturally. A child will hear your words and learn that those are just the right things to say, but unfounded. The child will see your actions and say, "That’s the reality, not the words."

To live joyously and fearlessly even in the face of life’s relentless everyday challenges requires a shift in thinking for most of us. The place to start is in adopting the theory that choosing joy as a regular response to life is possible, and advisable. It is important to embrace the concept completely and to consider no other possibility. Over time, theory changes to knowing through daily practice as you reaffirm the decision minute by minute. Joy becomes a way of life.

Do you want to be an effective example to everyone around you? Then know beyond any shadow of a doubt that you are lovable and loved, acceptable and accepted. Know that, "I am loved of God. God lives in me and loves me, and I have no doubt about it. I’m not going to be afraid anymore. I’m not going to feel alone anymore. It’s my decision. And even if it isn’t true, I’m going to live as if it is because it serves me to do so.

"Let the rest of the world believe as it wants. Let it even try to convince me of what it will. But I have made my decision. It works for me to assume that I am a very loved child of a very loving father, even when I misbehave. It makes me happy and it makes of me a better person to believe, to know, that I am the apple of God’s eye."

© Paul Solomon Foundation 1994